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myficsTitle: Need [Part Eight of the "Trials" series, a sequel to "Heal"]
Paring: Seth/Ryan
Rating: NC-17 (this chapter only)
Word Count: 3,529 (this chapter)
Summary: Ryan and Seth are finally together, but now Ryan's got one very big problem. Something's stopping him from really being with Seth.
Disclaimer: Me = Poor. Josh Schwartz = Both very ballsy and extremely rich. Note the difference.
Spoilers: For everything. Literally.
Notes: This is a sequel to "Heal", which you'll want to read before you read this. All 12 chapters of "Heal" can be found here.
Part One can be found HERE
Part Two can be found HERE
Part Three can be found HERE
Part Four can be found HERE
Part Five can be found HERE
Part Six can be found HERE
Part Seven can be found HERE
Since they got together, kissing Ryan has become familiar.
If you’d told Seth at the start of the summer that before the year was out, “kissing Ryan” would be under his list of Familiar Things, he’d have told you that you were crazier than those girls on Girl, Interrupted.
But as weird as it is, it’s the truth. Kissing Ryan is familiar. Never boring or unexciting, never the same twice in a row, but it’s comfortable and Seth knows what he’s doing when he wraps his arms around Ryan’s shoulders as Ryan hovers above him, Ryan’s tongue sliding against his own in an epic battle for dominance that Seth knows he’ll eventually lose.
But touching Ryan? Like with hands and skin and everything? Kind of scary.
New.
Different.
Hot.
Ryan presses their groins together and rubs against him, and Seth thinks he’s going to faint. It’s never been like this before.
Usually, there’s laughter. There’s jokes, there’s smiles, and there’s talking.
But not now. This is serious. This is…it.
“Ryan,” Seth manages to pant out. “Slow.”
He meant to say, “Ryan, I say, old chap, let us slow it down a bit, yeah?” complete with fake British accent, but his mouth isn’t working as well as his brain, so all he managed was the “Ryan” and “slow” part, but Ryan gets the message and rolls off of him, lying next to him on the bed.
Seth rolls over to face him and runs his thumb around the line of Ryan’s jaw. “Slow, okay? We’ve been waiting too long for it to be that quick.”
Talking is easier now that Ryan’s not rubbing against him, making him dizzy and obscuring his senses.
Ryan nods slowly, then says, “Okay.”
Seth pulls him closer and kisses him, being careful not to touch anywhere that’s not familiar. It’s not time for that yet.
Part of him is still scared, another part is yelling “too fast! Too fast!”, and the other part of him wants to just rip Ryan’s clothes off right now and have sex, but Seth knows that’s not what this should be.
Ryan reaches for the hem of Seth’s shirt and asks, “Can I?” and Seth nods because he’s not even sure he remembers how to say the word ‘no.’
Ryan tugs his shirt up and over his head, letting it flutter to the ground beside the bed, then pulls his own off, too. He pulls Seth closer, until their chests are flush against each other, and kisses Seth’s neck.
Seth tries to grab onto something, anything, to keep him grounded, but there’s nothing to hold onto, so he opts to slide his hands down Ryan’s back, lower and lower until he reaches the curve of Ryan’s ass.
Ryan sucks harder at Seth’s pulse point, and Seth knows he’s going to have a hickey there tomorrow and that Taylor will want the full story, but he can’t quite bring himself to care at the moment. Little by little, his resolve to go slow is leaving him.
“The book,” he manages, and Ryan pulls himself off of Seth’s neck and stares at him.
“What?”
“The book. Taylor got me this book. And…and it said go slow. And it had all this other stuff and…”
“Seth,” Ryan says, kissing Seth’s chest, going lower and lower with each kiss between words. “Fuck. The. Book.”
Ryan swirls his tongue around one of Seth’s nipples and Seth manages to squeak out, “Okay.”
Ryan grins and kisses him again, tongues sliding languidly together in what Seth can only describe as a ‘dance.’
Seth gets braver and braver as the night goes on, finally reaching between them and unbuttoning Ryan’s pants. He slips his hand inside tentatively, then wraps his hand around Ryan’s cock.
Ryan gasps softly, and Seth can’t tell if it’s because of the way it feels or because he’s shocked Seth would do it. But he does gasp, and he rocks his hips forward into Seth’s hand, and Seth tries not to think about what’s going to happen later because he’ll panic again if he does that.
“Pants off,” Ryan says, pushing his own off and then attacking Seth’s.
Seth laughs when Ryan fumbles with the buttons, because at least Ryan is as nervous as he is. It’s comforting.
Then the pants are gone, boxers with them, and Seth can’t help but stare. He’s seen Ryan in various states of undress before, obviously, but not like this.
Not for him. Not ready and waiting and wanting, not writhing under Seth’s touch…never like this.
He marvels at every single thing about Ryan, murmuring compliments as he kisses his way across skin, stopping to lick places that seem tasty. Ryan starts to laugh after awhile and pulls Seth’s face up to his own and kisses him softly, then pushes Seth down on his back.
Ryan covers Seth’s body with his own, and Seth starts to shake. He’s not sure if it’s because he knows what’s going to happen now and he’s afraid, or if it’s just shocks of lust coursing through his body. Probably a little of both.
Ryan’s kissing his way down Seth’s body, running his tongue over the soft skin until he gets to Seth’s thigh.
“Ryan—“ Seth says, not sure what he wants to say. ‘I love you,’ maybe. Or, ‘Go slow,’ works, too. Or perhaps, ‘I want you inside me.’ Though really, that last one sounds much cooler in porn than it does in real life.
But he doesn’t need to continue, because Ryan shakes his head. “Not yet. I know.”
Seth watches as Ryan kneels between Seth’s outstretched legs, but his eyes fall shut as Ryan touches him for the first time. Ryan’s not doing anything special, nothing that Seth hasn’t done to himself at one point or other, just stroking his cock, slowly then quickly, switching up the rhythm, brushing his thumb across the head…
But then Ryan does something that Seth, in all the years since he discovered that his cock was a source of happiness, has never managed to accomplish on his own. It makes Seth glad he’s got his eyes shut because if he had them open, he would probably come from the very sight.
Ryan takes the head of Seth’s cock into his mouth and sucks.
And it’s not like Seth’s never had a blow job before. Summer was good at them. But she wasn’t like this. She wasn’t…Ryan.
“Ryan,” Seth manages to gasp as he tries to stop himself from coming. “I…if you keep doing that I’m gonna…”
“That’s the idea,” Ryan mutters.
Seth swallows hard, trying to think about things like basketball and cold showers, but he can’t seem to escape the fact that Ryan is sucking on his dick like he’s a Popsicle in the middle of the desert and he’s Ryan’s only source of water.
Like…like Ryan needs him.
And Seth thinks that sounds about right, because he needs Ryan, too. He needs Ryan like Mr. Hyde needed Dr. Jekyl. You can’t have one without the other because they’re two halves of one whole and without one, the other doesn’t work right. It’s been hell waiting for Ryan to come home from the courthouse each day, knowing that Ryan was going through hell and he couldn’t be there.
They need each other.
So Seth is probably right about the whole Popsicle thing.
The only question is, “Do I taste like grape, cherry, or orange?”
The sucking stops. “What?”
Seth pauses. “Did…did I say that out loud?”
“Mhm.”
“Oh. Um. Popsicles,” Seth says, by way of explanation.
And just like Seth gets Ryan, Ryan gets him, too, because he says, “More like lime, actually.”
“The green kind? Oh, great, I’m not even one of the original flavors.”
“No,” Ryan says, returning his hand to Seth’s cock. “You’re not. You’re new and improved.”
Seth can deal with that.
*
Ryan goes to return his mouth to Seth’s cock, but Seth stops him. “Hey, Ryan?”
“Yeah?”
“Not that that wasn’t like…hotter than Hugh Jackman in leather, because it totally was, but…can you just kiss me?”
Ryan blinks at him momentarily before crawling back up on the bed next to him and kissing him softly.
“What’s the matter?”
“I just…isn’t this…I mean…it’s all at once, you know? Isn’t it too fast?”
“Seth, we’ve been together for close to four months.”
“I mean…shouldn’t we like…build up to it first?”
“That’s what I was doing,” Ryan whispers, one hand trailing down Seth’s torso to the base of his cock.
“I mean…it’s just…”
“Are you still scared?”
Seth swallows and says, “Yeah.”
Ryan kisses him again and says, “You trust me, right?”
Seth’s eyes open wide and he says, “Of course,” hurriedly.
“Then just relax, okay? It’ll be all right.”
“It’s just…Ryan…” Seth closes his eyes and says, “Ryan, I just met Mr. Prostate today, okay! I mean, I haven’t had a chance to get properly acquainted with the guy and now I’m about to let someone move into his home. I mean, isn’t that a bit rude of me?”
Ryan tries to keep from laughing. He really, really does. But that statement is so absurd that he can’t help it.
“Stop laughing,” Seth pouts. “And what about you? I just shook hands with Little Ryan a little while ago, and now he’s about to go shacking up with Mr. Prostate!”
Ryan laughs even harder, all pretense of “mood” dropped.
“First off,” he manages to gasp in between chuckles, “it’s not ‘Little Ryan.’”
“What’s his name then? Mine is named Little Seth.”
“Little Seth?” Ryan asks, trying to stop laughing, but finding it more and more difficult with each word out of Seth’s mouth.
“Well, it used to be Batman, but then Michael Keaton played him in the movie, and that was just too horrid to contemplate. Then it was Spiderman, but then I remembered that I’m afraid of spiders. And also of Tobey Maguire a little bit. So I realized that as long as they keep making comic book movies, I would never be able to pick a name, so I settled on Little Seth.”
Ryan shakes his head slowly, slightly in awe. ‘How did I ever fall in love with him?’ springs to mind, but he knows the answer immediately when he looks at Seth’s nervous smile.
“Well, I’ve never named it,” Ryan says.
Seth gasps as though Ryan’s just said that Death Cab sucks. “What? But…but he has to have a name! Otherwise, when he meets Mr. Prostate, how will I introduce him?”
“All right, Seth,” Ryan sighs. “What do you want to name it?”
Seth stares down at his groin, a thoughtful look on his face. “Bob,” he says slowly.
“Bob?”
“Yeah, Bob. Because when you let me return that whole sucking favor, it’s what I’ll be doing,” Seth says cheerfully.
“Then shouldn’t you be Bob?”
“Ryan,” Seth says sagely, “leave the crotch-naming to the professionals, okay? I hereby christen your dick ‘Bob.’” He looks up at Ryan brightly. “Can we go back to the kissing now?”
Ryan nods and wraps his arm around Seth, pulling him closer until their bodies are aligned. He kisses him gently, then rougher, almost hungrily when Seth wraps his palm around Bob—Ryan will never be able to look at his dick the same way again—and starts stroking.
“Can I?” Ryan asks, watching Seth’s eyes for signs of the fear he saw before.
Seth nods slowly, then rolls onto his back and starts breathing deeply while Ryan pulls the lube and condoms they bought for tonight out of the drawer.
Ryan notices Seth’s fingers drumming on the sheets and asks, “Are you okay?”
“Mhm,” Seth says. “Yeah. Sure. I’m one with the cool, Ryan. Except for how hot this is, so not so much cool, kinda more hot. But I’m great. Wonderful. Spiffy. Peachy keen, even.”
Ryan waits until Seth meets his eyes. “Seth,” he whispers. “Come on, this is me.”
“And me.”
“And you,” Ryan nods. “United we’re unstoppable, right?”
“Right. It’s just the uniting part that I’m worried about.”
“Virgin,” Ryan teases.
“You’re a virgin about this, too, Blondie,” Seth snaps.
“Blondie?” Ryan asks as he opens the bottle of lube and pours some onto his hands, rubbing it between them to warm it up, never taking his eyes off of Seth’s.
“I’m nervous and sex-addled, Ryan, I’m doing the best I can. Even the Ironist has an off day with his quick quips and pop culture-laden bromides.”
“Is that so?” Ryan asks, pressing one finger into Seth.
“Yeah,” Seth says, not noticing what Ryan’s doing. “Happens all the time. All super heroes have something that throws them off. And it just so happens, Ryan, that Bob is my own personal Kryptonite.”
Ryan adds a second finger. “Which kind? The one that kills him or the one that weakens him? Because Bob can pack up his balls and leave if we’re having a life or death situation here. Bob wouldn’t want to kill you or anything.”
“No,” Seth says, quickly. “Not that kind. Just the weakening kind. Definitely just the weakening kind. And Little Seth really doesn’t want Bob to leave. Bob hasn’t even met Mr. Prostate yet, and I have a feeling that that could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship right there. Bob can’t leave. He’s too important to the whole operation.”
Ryan adds another finger and says, “Well, I suppose he can stay. New friends are important.”
“Yeah,” Seth says. “So you can start…” he pauses, a slow smile spreading across his face. “Tricky Bob,” Seth says when he realizes what Ryan has done.
“Not Bob,” Ryan says. “That was all Ryan.”
“You’re both sneaky,” Seth says, wiggling slightly.
“Does it hurt?” Ryan asks.
“Not…not really. Just sort of…uncomfortable. Like…like kinda…kinda like burning.”
“Is that a good thing or a bad thing?” Ryan asks.
“Neither. Mr. Prostate is waiting to make friends though.”
Ryan smiles and moves his fingers around until he finds it, then presses against it.
“Oh, JesusMosesZeusAthenaHadesfuckingHell,” Seth says, arching off the bed.
“Hello, Mr. Prostate,” Ryan says.
“In case you didn’t know, that was Seth-speak for ‘I love you, can we please never stop this?’ Like…can we just…go around like this all day long? Every day?”
“Bob would feel left out.”
“Bob should come join the party,” Seth says, nodding vigorously.
Ryan smiles, then pulls his fingers out of Seth and opens one of the condom wrappers.
“Can I?” Seth asks, sitting up.
Ryan nods and hands it to Seth, who kisses him, lips moving from Ryan’s mouth to his collar bone to his chest and back, tracing invisible patterns that are only visible when one is wearing rose-colored Seth-glasses, while he rolls the condom onto Ryan’s cock.
“Lube,” Ryan says thickly, his voice low and rough.
Seth grabs the bottle and pours some—too much—out and starts stroking him slowly, spreading it out. He kisses Ryan one last time, then lies back and says, “Okay,” in a voice that Ryan has never heard him use before. It’s a mixture of anticipation, excitement, nervousness, and pure sex.
But there’s no trace of fear.
And that’s all Ryan needs to know.
He kneels between Seth’s legs, pushing them up slightly and positions himself. Seth takes a sharp breath and gives a quick nod and Ryan presses forward.
He leans down and captures Seth’s mouth in a kiss, swallowing the moan that Seth lets out as Ryan pushes into him.
He stops when he’s inside, leaning back enough to watch Seth’s face. “Are you okay?”
Seth lets out a shaky breath and says, “Yeah. Hurts. Go slow.”
Ryan nods and pulls out slightly, then moves forward again, trying to figure out where he’s supposed to put his arms. It should be just like being with a girl, but it’s not. Ryan has a feeling that even if he’d been with a guy before, it wouldn’t have prepared him for this.
For being with Seth.
“I love you,” Ryan whispers, not sure why he’s saying it, but knowing that it needs to be said.
Seth nods his agreement, and grabs a hold of Ryan’s forearm, gripping.
Ryan tries to keep count of how many times he’s thrusting into Seth, something to keep his mind occupied so he doesn’t think about what he’s doing too much and lose himself right then and there, but he fails.
“Can you…can you move to the left…yeah. Like that,” Seth says finally, then gasps when Ryan thrusts forward. “Oh, fuck.”
“Mr. Prostate?” Ryan asks.
“He and Bob are currently busy at the moment, please leave a message after the tone,” Seth says, smiling for the first time since Ryan entered him. “You can…you can go a little faster,” Seth says quietly. “I mean, if you want to.”
“Fuck, yes,” Ryan says, immediately picking up his pace.
A thousand things flow through Ryan’s mind as he’s fucking Seth, a million moments in his life, and he comes to one conclusion. He doesn’t believe in Fate, and he doesn’t believe in Destiny, but something, some force out there in the universe, whatever Being is out there…it wanted this to happen. It wanted them to be together.
Too many things, too many “coincidences” have led up to this moment for it to be a haphazard, random thing. This was Meant To Be.
The thought that some higher power wanted them to be together, wanted them to fall in love, it’s nearly overpowering.
It makes the whole thing ten times more powerful, more wonderful, more amazing.
It ups the ante by a billion-fold and makes every movement Ryan makes become etched in his brain.
The impact of what he’s doing—what they’re doing—suddenly overwhelms Ryan, and he moves into Seth as far as he can go.
It’s funny, they said that ‘united we’re unstoppable’ thing so long ago. But it’s true resonance is only ringing today. It’s funny how things like that can come back to haunt you. No, not haunt.
Come back to remind you.
Remind you of who you are and where you came from, and how much work and sacrifice it’s taken to get here.
Seth does something…some sort of clenching, and Ryan shakes and shudders. “Stop,” he pants out. “Stop or it’ll be over.”
“Don’t you want to…?” Seth asks.
“No, not yet. Not now. Not…not ever. Want to stay like this forever,” Ryan says.
Seth stops the clenching thing and Ryan tries to pull himself back from the brink.
“I love you,” he says again. “I love you, I love you, I love you.”
“I know,” Seth says. “You’ve told me like…five times now.”
“Can’t say it enough,” Ryan says, aiming for Mr. Prostate again.
“I love you, too,” Seth says, back forming a graceful arc as Bob and Mr. Prostate come in contact once again.
Ryan leans down to kiss Seth, who holds onto him for dear life, and the moment their lips meet, Ryan loses it. He comes, shaking and shuddering, gasping and moaning Seth’s name, not even sure who he is anymore, floating on some invisible, higher plane.
When he finally regains his ability to see, Seth is panting beneath him, still hard. Ryan pulls out of him, then crawls down Seth’s both, taking Little Seth in his mouth once more and finding Mr. Prostate with his fingers.
It’s not long before Seth is babbling incoherently—even more so than usual—and gasping, begging, pleading, please, please, please.
Ryan takes as much of Seth’s cock into his mouth as he can and presses against Mr. Prostate, and a shudder runs through Seth’s body and he moans Ryan’s name, then there’s salty liquid on Ryan’s tongue and Seth is saying, “Oh, God, Ryan, I’m sorry, I should’ve warned you, oh God, I’m sorry.”
“It’s okay,” Ryan says, swallowing with a grimace. “Not too bad.”
He climbs back up, next to Seth, pulling the sheet over them both.
“I’m sticky,” Seth says. “I need a shower. And…and I’m kinda sore.”
“In the morning,” Ryan mutters. “I feel like a boneless fish.”
“A boneless fish? You’re starting to talk like me.”
“It’s the whole united thing,” Ryan says. “Jedi mind-meld or whatever.”
“Ryan, that’s not what the mind-meld is—“
“Seth, we can argue Star Wars in the morning.”
“Okay.”
Then Seth snuggles closer and lays his head on Ryan’s chest, and Ryan is pretty sure that this, combined with the verdict, has made today the best day of his life.
Seth starts snoring softly, and Ryan smiles, wrapping his arm around Seth.
He knows that tomorrow, they’ll have to deal with Taylor prying for every intimate detail, and that Sandy will say horribly embarrassing things and Kirsten will sip her glass of water and not meet anyone’s eyes.
He knows that in a month, he and Seth are going to have to go to different sides of the country for school, and he doesn’t know how they’ll manage it.
But now? Right here, right now? Everything is perfect. Everything is still and silent and soft and sweet, and all there’s Seth and him, and that’s all that counts.
And Ryan wouldn’t have it any other way.
*wibble* I hope that didn't disappoint anyone. I realized how much pressure I'd put on this chapter and it dawned on me that after 43,000 words, this chapter better be a pretty fucking amazing pay-off, so I agonized to the point where I had writers block/performance anxiety and had to take writers!Viagra to get my metaphorical writing!cock up. *giggle* I'm still not 100% satisfied, but I put like...everything I had into this. Seriously, I mean 3,500 words for a PWP is pretty damn long, and I've never made it to even 2,000, so...I tried to really pay it off for you guys and I hope you're not disappointed. You're not, right? Please say you're not.
Also, because I can...I'm participating in Sweet Charity, which is a charity where writers, vidders, graphics makers, etc can auction their skills off for charity. All money goes to The National Marfan Foundation. If you bid on me and win, you'll get a fanfic written just for you. You can choose any of the fandoms I've listed, any pairing you'd like, any rating, whatever. I wouldn't ask, but it is for charity, so if anyone would like to bid on me, then please go here and do so. /end pimp
Paring: Seth/Ryan
Rating: NC-17 (this chapter only)
Word Count: 3,529 (this chapter)
Summary: Ryan and Seth are finally together, but now Ryan's got one very big problem. Something's stopping him from really being with Seth.
Disclaimer: Me = Poor. Josh Schwartz = Both very ballsy and extremely rich. Note the difference.
Spoilers: For everything. Literally.
Notes: This is a sequel to "Heal", which you'll want to read before you read this. All 12 chapters of "Heal" can be found here.
Part One can be found HERE
Part Two can be found HERE
Part Three can be found HERE
Part Four can be found HERE
Part Five can be found HERE
Part Six can be found HERE
Part Seven can be found HERE
Since they got together, kissing Ryan has become familiar.
If you’d told Seth at the start of the summer that before the year was out, “kissing Ryan” would be under his list of Familiar Things, he’d have told you that you were crazier than those girls on Girl, Interrupted.
But as weird as it is, it’s the truth. Kissing Ryan is familiar. Never boring or unexciting, never the same twice in a row, but it’s comfortable and Seth knows what he’s doing when he wraps his arms around Ryan’s shoulders as Ryan hovers above him, Ryan’s tongue sliding against his own in an epic battle for dominance that Seth knows he’ll eventually lose.
But touching Ryan? Like with hands and skin and everything? Kind of scary.
New.
Different.
Hot.
Ryan presses their groins together and rubs against him, and Seth thinks he’s going to faint. It’s never been like this before.
Usually, there’s laughter. There’s jokes, there’s smiles, and there’s talking.
But not now. This is serious. This is…it.
“Ryan,” Seth manages to pant out. “Slow.”
He meant to say, “Ryan, I say, old chap, let us slow it down a bit, yeah?” complete with fake British accent, but his mouth isn’t working as well as his brain, so all he managed was the “Ryan” and “slow” part, but Ryan gets the message and rolls off of him, lying next to him on the bed.
Seth rolls over to face him and runs his thumb around the line of Ryan’s jaw. “Slow, okay? We’ve been waiting too long for it to be that quick.”
Talking is easier now that Ryan’s not rubbing against him, making him dizzy and obscuring his senses.
Ryan nods slowly, then says, “Okay.”
Seth pulls him closer and kisses him, being careful not to touch anywhere that’s not familiar. It’s not time for that yet.
Part of him is still scared, another part is yelling “too fast! Too fast!”, and the other part of him wants to just rip Ryan’s clothes off right now and have sex, but Seth knows that’s not what this should be.
Ryan reaches for the hem of Seth’s shirt and asks, “Can I?” and Seth nods because he’s not even sure he remembers how to say the word ‘no.’
Ryan tugs his shirt up and over his head, letting it flutter to the ground beside the bed, then pulls his own off, too. He pulls Seth closer, until their chests are flush against each other, and kisses Seth’s neck.
Seth tries to grab onto something, anything, to keep him grounded, but there’s nothing to hold onto, so he opts to slide his hands down Ryan’s back, lower and lower until he reaches the curve of Ryan’s ass.
Ryan sucks harder at Seth’s pulse point, and Seth knows he’s going to have a hickey there tomorrow and that Taylor will want the full story, but he can’t quite bring himself to care at the moment. Little by little, his resolve to go slow is leaving him.
“The book,” he manages, and Ryan pulls himself off of Seth’s neck and stares at him.
“What?”
“The book. Taylor got me this book. And…and it said go slow. And it had all this other stuff and…”
“Seth,” Ryan says, kissing Seth’s chest, going lower and lower with each kiss between words. “Fuck. The. Book.”
Ryan swirls his tongue around one of Seth’s nipples and Seth manages to squeak out, “Okay.”
Ryan grins and kisses him again, tongues sliding languidly together in what Seth can only describe as a ‘dance.’
Seth gets braver and braver as the night goes on, finally reaching between them and unbuttoning Ryan’s pants. He slips his hand inside tentatively, then wraps his hand around Ryan’s cock.
Ryan gasps softly, and Seth can’t tell if it’s because of the way it feels or because he’s shocked Seth would do it. But he does gasp, and he rocks his hips forward into Seth’s hand, and Seth tries not to think about what’s going to happen later because he’ll panic again if he does that.
“Pants off,” Ryan says, pushing his own off and then attacking Seth’s.
Seth laughs when Ryan fumbles with the buttons, because at least Ryan is as nervous as he is. It’s comforting.
Then the pants are gone, boxers with them, and Seth can’t help but stare. He’s seen Ryan in various states of undress before, obviously, but not like this.
Not for him. Not ready and waiting and wanting, not writhing under Seth’s touch…never like this.
He marvels at every single thing about Ryan, murmuring compliments as he kisses his way across skin, stopping to lick places that seem tasty. Ryan starts to laugh after awhile and pulls Seth’s face up to his own and kisses him softly, then pushes Seth down on his back.
Ryan covers Seth’s body with his own, and Seth starts to shake. He’s not sure if it’s because he knows what’s going to happen now and he’s afraid, or if it’s just shocks of lust coursing through his body. Probably a little of both.
Ryan’s kissing his way down Seth’s body, running his tongue over the soft skin until he gets to Seth’s thigh.
“Ryan—“ Seth says, not sure what he wants to say. ‘I love you,’ maybe. Or, ‘Go slow,’ works, too. Or perhaps, ‘I want you inside me.’ Though really, that last one sounds much cooler in porn than it does in real life.
But he doesn’t need to continue, because Ryan shakes his head. “Not yet. I know.”
Seth watches as Ryan kneels between Seth’s outstretched legs, but his eyes fall shut as Ryan touches him for the first time. Ryan’s not doing anything special, nothing that Seth hasn’t done to himself at one point or other, just stroking his cock, slowly then quickly, switching up the rhythm, brushing his thumb across the head…
But then Ryan does something that Seth, in all the years since he discovered that his cock was a source of happiness, has never managed to accomplish on his own. It makes Seth glad he’s got his eyes shut because if he had them open, he would probably come from the very sight.
Ryan takes the head of Seth’s cock into his mouth and sucks.
And it’s not like Seth’s never had a blow job before. Summer was good at them. But she wasn’t like this. She wasn’t…Ryan.
“Ryan,” Seth manages to gasp as he tries to stop himself from coming. “I…if you keep doing that I’m gonna…”
“That’s the idea,” Ryan mutters.
Seth swallows hard, trying to think about things like basketball and cold showers, but he can’t seem to escape the fact that Ryan is sucking on his dick like he’s a Popsicle in the middle of the desert and he’s Ryan’s only source of water.
Like…like Ryan needs him.
And Seth thinks that sounds about right, because he needs Ryan, too. He needs Ryan like Mr. Hyde needed Dr. Jekyl. You can’t have one without the other because they’re two halves of one whole and without one, the other doesn’t work right. It’s been hell waiting for Ryan to come home from the courthouse each day, knowing that Ryan was going through hell and he couldn’t be there.
They need each other.
So Seth is probably right about the whole Popsicle thing.
The only question is, “Do I taste like grape, cherry, or orange?”
The sucking stops. “What?”
Seth pauses. “Did…did I say that out loud?”
“Mhm.”
“Oh. Um. Popsicles,” Seth says, by way of explanation.
And just like Seth gets Ryan, Ryan gets him, too, because he says, “More like lime, actually.”
“The green kind? Oh, great, I’m not even one of the original flavors.”
“No,” Ryan says, returning his hand to Seth’s cock. “You’re not. You’re new and improved.”
Seth can deal with that.
Ryan goes to return his mouth to Seth’s cock, but Seth stops him. “Hey, Ryan?”
“Yeah?”
“Not that that wasn’t like…hotter than Hugh Jackman in leather, because it totally was, but…can you just kiss me?”
Ryan blinks at him momentarily before crawling back up on the bed next to him and kissing him softly.
“What’s the matter?”
“I just…isn’t this…I mean…it’s all at once, you know? Isn’t it too fast?”
“Seth, we’ve been together for close to four months.”
“I mean…shouldn’t we like…build up to it first?”
“That’s what I was doing,” Ryan whispers, one hand trailing down Seth’s torso to the base of his cock.
“I mean…it’s just…”
“Are you still scared?”
Seth swallows and says, “Yeah.”
Ryan kisses him again and says, “You trust me, right?”
Seth’s eyes open wide and he says, “Of course,” hurriedly.
“Then just relax, okay? It’ll be all right.”
“It’s just…Ryan…” Seth closes his eyes and says, “Ryan, I just met Mr. Prostate today, okay! I mean, I haven’t had a chance to get properly acquainted with the guy and now I’m about to let someone move into his home. I mean, isn’t that a bit rude of me?”
Ryan tries to keep from laughing. He really, really does. But that statement is so absurd that he can’t help it.
“Stop laughing,” Seth pouts. “And what about you? I just shook hands with Little Ryan a little while ago, and now he’s about to go shacking up with Mr. Prostate!”
Ryan laughs even harder, all pretense of “mood” dropped.
“First off,” he manages to gasp in between chuckles, “it’s not ‘Little Ryan.’”
“What’s his name then? Mine is named Little Seth.”
“Little Seth?” Ryan asks, trying to stop laughing, but finding it more and more difficult with each word out of Seth’s mouth.
“Well, it used to be Batman, but then Michael Keaton played him in the movie, and that was just too horrid to contemplate. Then it was Spiderman, but then I remembered that I’m afraid of spiders. And also of Tobey Maguire a little bit. So I realized that as long as they keep making comic book movies, I would never be able to pick a name, so I settled on Little Seth.”
Ryan shakes his head slowly, slightly in awe. ‘How did I ever fall in love with him?’ springs to mind, but he knows the answer immediately when he looks at Seth’s nervous smile.
“Well, I’ve never named it,” Ryan says.
Seth gasps as though Ryan’s just said that Death Cab sucks. “What? But…but he has to have a name! Otherwise, when he meets Mr. Prostate, how will I introduce him?”
“All right, Seth,” Ryan sighs. “What do you want to name it?”
Seth stares down at his groin, a thoughtful look on his face. “Bob,” he says slowly.
“Bob?”
“Yeah, Bob. Because when you let me return that whole sucking favor, it’s what I’ll be doing,” Seth says cheerfully.
“Then shouldn’t you be Bob?”
“Ryan,” Seth says sagely, “leave the crotch-naming to the professionals, okay? I hereby christen your dick ‘Bob.’” He looks up at Ryan brightly. “Can we go back to the kissing now?”
Ryan nods and wraps his arm around Seth, pulling him closer until their bodies are aligned. He kisses him gently, then rougher, almost hungrily when Seth wraps his palm around Bob—Ryan will never be able to look at his dick the same way again—and starts stroking.
“Can I?” Ryan asks, watching Seth’s eyes for signs of the fear he saw before.
Seth nods slowly, then rolls onto his back and starts breathing deeply while Ryan pulls the lube and condoms they bought for tonight out of the drawer.
Ryan notices Seth’s fingers drumming on the sheets and asks, “Are you okay?”
“Mhm,” Seth says. “Yeah. Sure. I’m one with the cool, Ryan. Except for how hot this is, so not so much cool, kinda more hot. But I’m great. Wonderful. Spiffy. Peachy keen, even.”
Ryan waits until Seth meets his eyes. “Seth,” he whispers. “Come on, this is me.”
“And me.”
“And you,” Ryan nods. “United we’re unstoppable, right?”
“Right. It’s just the uniting part that I’m worried about.”
“Virgin,” Ryan teases.
“You’re a virgin about this, too, Blondie,” Seth snaps.
“Blondie?” Ryan asks as he opens the bottle of lube and pours some onto his hands, rubbing it between them to warm it up, never taking his eyes off of Seth’s.
“I’m nervous and sex-addled, Ryan, I’m doing the best I can. Even the Ironist has an off day with his quick quips and pop culture-laden bromides.”
“Is that so?” Ryan asks, pressing one finger into Seth.
“Yeah,” Seth says, not noticing what Ryan’s doing. “Happens all the time. All super heroes have something that throws them off. And it just so happens, Ryan, that Bob is my own personal Kryptonite.”
Ryan adds a second finger. “Which kind? The one that kills him or the one that weakens him? Because Bob can pack up his balls and leave if we’re having a life or death situation here. Bob wouldn’t want to kill you or anything.”
“No,” Seth says, quickly. “Not that kind. Just the weakening kind. Definitely just the weakening kind. And Little Seth really doesn’t want Bob to leave. Bob hasn’t even met Mr. Prostate yet, and I have a feeling that that could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship right there. Bob can’t leave. He’s too important to the whole operation.”
Ryan adds another finger and says, “Well, I suppose he can stay. New friends are important.”
“Yeah,” Seth says. “So you can start…” he pauses, a slow smile spreading across his face. “Tricky Bob,” Seth says when he realizes what Ryan has done.
“Not Bob,” Ryan says. “That was all Ryan.”
“You’re both sneaky,” Seth says, wiggling slightly.
“Does it hurt?” Ryan asks.
“Not…not really. Just sort of…uncomfortable. Like…like kinda…kinda like burning.”
“Is that a good thing or a bad thing?” Ryan asks.
“Neither. Mr. Prostate is waiting to make friends though.”
Ryan smiles and moves his fingers around until he finds it, then presses against it.
“Oh, JesusMosesZeusAthenaHadesfuckingHell,” Seth says, arching off the bed.
“Hello, Mr. Prostate,” Ryan says.
“In case you didn’t know, that was Seth-speak for ‘I love you, can we please never stop this?’ Like…can we just…go around like this all day long? Every day?”
“Bob would feel left out.”
“Bob should come join the party,” Seth says, nodding vigorously.
Ryan smiles, then pulls his fingers out of Seth and opens one of the condom wrappers.
“Can I?” Seth asks, sitting up.
Ryan nods and hands it to Seth, who kisses him, lips moving from Ryan’s mouth to his collar bone to his chest and back, tracing invisible patterns that are only visible when one is wearing rose-colored Seth-glasses, while he rolls the condom onto Ryan’s cock.
“Lube,” Ryan says thickly, his voice low and rough.
Seth grabs the bottle and pours some—too much—out and starts stroking him slowly, spreading it out. He kisses Ryan one last time, then lies back and says, “Okay,” in a voice that Ryan has never heard him use before. It’s a mixture of anticipation, excitement, nervousness, and pure sex.
But there’s no trace of fear.
And that’s all Ryan needs to know.
He kneels between Seth’s legs, pushing them up slightly and positions himself. Seth takes a sharp breath and gives a quick nod and Ryan presses forward.
He leans down and captures Seth’s mouth in a kiss, swallowing the moan that Seth lets out as Ryan pushes into him.
He stops when he’s inside, leaning back enough to watch Seth’s face. “Are you okay?”
Seth lets out a shaky breath and says, “Yeah. Hurts. Go slow.”
Ryan nods and pulls out slightly, then moves forward again, trying to figure out where he’s supposed to put his arms. It should be just like being with a girl, but it’s not. Ryan has a feeling that even if he’d been with a guy before, it wouldn’t have prepared him for this.
For being with Seth.
“I love you,” Ryan whispers, not sure why he’s saying it, but knowing that it needs to be said.
Seth nods his agreement, and grabs a hold of Ryan’s forearm, gripping.
Ryan tries to keep count of how many times he’s thrusting into Seth, something to keep his mind occupied so he doesn’t think about what he’s doing too much and lose himself right then and there, but he fails.
“Can you…can you move to the left…yeah. Like that,” Seth says finally, then gasps when Ryan thrusts forward. “Oh, fuck.”
“Mr. Prostate?” Ryan asks.
“He and Bob are currently busy at the moment, please leave a message after the tone,” Seth says, smiling for the first time since Ryan entered him. “You can…you can go a little faster,” Seth says quietly. “I mean, if you want to.”
“Fuck, yes,” Ryan says, immediately picking up his pace.
A thousand things flow through Ryan’s mind as he’s fucking Seth, a million moments in his life, and he comes to one conclusion. He doesn’t believe in Fate, and he doesn’t believe in Destiny, but something, some force out there in the universe, whatever Being is out there…it wanted this to happen. It wanted them to be together.
Too many things, too many “coincidences” have led up to this moment for it to be a haphazard, random thing. This was Meant To Be.
The thought that some higher power wanted them to be together, wanted them to fall in love, it’s nearly overpowering.
It makes the whole thing ten times more powerful, more wonderful, more amazing.
It ups the ante by a billion-fold and makes every movement Ryan makes become etched in his brain.
The impact of what he’s doing—what they’re doing—suddenly overwhelms Ryan, and he moves into Seth as far as he can go.
It’s funny, they said that ‘united we’re unstoppable’ thing so long ago. But it’s true resonance is only ringing today. It’s funny how things like that can come back to haunt you. No, not haunt.
Come back to remind you.
Remind you of who you are and where you came from, and how much work and sacrifice it’s taken to get here.
Seth does something…some sort of clenching, and Ryan shakes and shudders. “Stop,” he pants out. “Stop or it’ll be over.”
“Don’t you want to…?” Seth asks.
“No, not yet. Not now. Not…not ever. Want to stay like this forever,” Ryan says.
Seth stops the clenching thing and Ryan tries to pull himself back from the brink.
“I love you,” he says again. “I love you, I love you, I love you.”
“I know,” Seth says. “You’ve told me like…five times now.”
“Can’t say it enough,” Ryan says, aiming for Mr. Prostate again.
“I love you, too,” Seth says, back forming a graceful arc as Bob and Mr. Prostate come in contact once again.
Ryan leans down to kiss Seth, who holds onto him for dear life, and the moment their lips meet, Ryan loses it. He comes, shaking and shuddering, gasping and moaning Seth’s name, not even sure who he is anymore, floating on some invisible, higher plane.
When he finally regains his ability to see, Seth is panting beneath him, still hard. Ryan pulls out of him, then crawls down Seth’s both, taking Little Seth in his mouth once more and finding Mr. Prostate with his fingers.
It’s not long before Seth is babbling incoherently—even more so than usual—and gasping, begging, pleading, please, please, please.
Ryan takes as much of Seth’s cock into his mouth as he can and presses against Mr. Prostate, and a shudder runs through Seth’s body and he moans Ryan’s name, then there’s salty liquid on Ryan’s tongue and Seth is saying, “Oh, God, Ryan, I’m sorry, I should’ve warned you, oh God, I’m sorry.”
“It’s okay,” Ryan says, swallowing with a grimace. “Not too bad.”
He climbs back up, next to Seth, pulling the sheet over them both.
“I’m sticky,” Seth says. “I need a shower. And…and I’m kinda sore.”
“In the morning,” Ryan mutters. “I feel like a boneless fish.”
“A boneless fish? You’re starting to talk like me.”
“It’s the whole united thing,” Ryan says. “Jedi mind-meld or whatever.”
“Ryan, that’s not what the mind-meld is—“
“Seth, we can argue Star Wars in the morning.”
“Okay.”
Then Seth snuggles closer and lays his head on Ryan’s chest, and Ryan is pretty sure that this, combined with the verdict, has made today the best day of his life.
Seth starts snoring softly, and Ryan smiles, wrapping his arm around Seth.
He knows that tomorrow, they’ll have to deal with Taylor prying for every intimate detail, and that Sandy will say horribly embarrassing things and Kirsten will sip her glass of water and not meet anyone’s eyes.
He knows that in a month, he and Seth are going to have to go to different sides of the country for school, and he doesn’t know how they’ll manage it.
But now? Right here, right now? Everything is perfect. Everything is still and silent and soft and sweet, and all there’s Seth and him, and that’s all that counts.
And Ryan wouldn’t have it any other way.
*wibble* I hope that didn't disappoint anyone. I realized how much pressure I'd put on this chapter and it dawned on me that after 43,000 words, this chapter better be a pretty fucking amazing pay-off, so I agonized to the point where I had writers block/performance anxiety and had to take writers!Viagra to get my metaphorical writing!cock up. *giggle* I'm still not 100% satisfied, but I put like...everything I had into this. Seriously, I mean 3,500 words for a PWP is pretty damn long, and I've never made it to even 2,000, so...I tried to really pay it off for you guys and I hope you're not disappointed. You're not, right? Please say you're not.
Also, because I can...I'm participating in Sweet Charity, which is a charity where writers, vidders, graphics makers, etc can auction their skills off for charity. All money goes to The National Marfan Foundation. If you bid on me and win, you'll get a fanfic written just for you. You can choose any of the fandoms I've listed, any pairing you'd like, any rating, whatever. I wouldn't ask, but it is for charity, so if anyone would like to bid on me, then please go here and do so. /end pimp
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Date: 2006-07-21 04:24 am (UTC)“Mr. Prostate?” Ryan asks.
“He and Bob are currently busy at the moment, please leave a message after the tone."...too fucking funny!
Definitely a keeper.
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Date: 2006-07-21 04:28 am (UTC)♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥
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Date: 2006-07-21 04:32 am (UTC)*comic smut....GoooooooD!*
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Date: 2006-07-21 04:39 am (UTC)I'm still sooooo sooo glad you liked it, especially after all that...that, lol. :)
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Date: 2006-07-21 07:06 am (UTC)I love the whole "Bob" and "Mr. Prostate" thing, it made it all a little less serious and that's a good thing in "first time they're having sex" PWPs :)
You also made the whole situation seem really real, with Seth being afraid, Ryan being comforting and so on.
Great :)
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Date: 2006-07-21 06:59 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-07-21 07:15 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-07-21 06:58 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-07-21 07:20 am (UTC)It was funny and fitting for the two of them and hot and just perfect.
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Date: 2006-07-21 06:57 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-07-21 11:48 am (UTC)DudeGirl.. This is definately not what I call a disappointment. This is what I call fucking brilliant!! Hmm.. No pun intended. :DComic smut.. Lol. The whole Bob and Mr Prostate was hilarious. I was pissing myself laughing. I don't think I've ever laughed so much reading smut before. Haha. It's good cause you didn't make their first time all serious.
...
Bob...
LOL xD
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Date: 2006-07-21 06:50 pm (UTC)Is it wrong that now I want an icon that says "Bob/Mr. Prostate = OTP"? *gigglesnickersnort*
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Date: 2006-07-21 01:19 pm (UTC)I'm waiting for updates! (sorry, for my English! It isn't so good! :S)
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Date: 2006-07-21 06:51 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-07-21 10:41 pm (UTC)“Mr. Prostate?” Ryan asks.
“He and Bob are currently busy at the moment, please leave a message after the tone,”
Absolutely classic line. Perfect perfect line! I think I literally squeaked out loud at that :o)
Love your characterisations of Seth and Ryan throughout (everyone really but I'm focusing on my fav two), your Seth and Ryan 'voices' are perfect.
Basically - LOVE your story!
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Date: 2006-07-21 10:51 pm (UTC)